I have many tales to tell but boy have I got a roaring good yarn.
This looks to be the biggest conspiracy in the country since Anas busted the judges.
It’s already been established that the Ghanaian government always looks out for number one but recent discoveries have thoroughly enlightened me:
Ghana is indeed looking out for number one but they invited China to the party.
This Dumsor catastrophe has ruined more businesses than…well…anything.
If it were a person, it would be dead, resurrected and killed again (repeat indefinitely) until every angry person in Ghana gets a piece of the action.
Babies excluded…cos, no one wants a murderous baby!
The truth behind this Dumsor wahala is actually far worse than originally reported…so prepare yourself for it.
The endless promises (go here or here) were all cover-ups to the true reason behind the protracted power outages in the country.
Simply put: Ghana is in league with China…and they are both profiting from our power issues.
“Ignorance is Bliss” they always say but Ghana doesn’t need this bliss.
Why? Well because, the power outages could have been completely resolved two years ago.
Don’t be surprised for I shall soon enlighten you.
The terrible news is, there’s actually no Dumsor.
No electricity problems…and contrary to the lies being spread about, Ghana has both the resources and the infrastructure to provide enough electricity to feed itself plus two more countries.
So then, the question must be asked;
“Why this Dumsor and why is the government lying to us (Ghanaians)?”
The answer is remarkably simple, yet weighty in its implications:
It is because of China.
Let me explain:
China is such a great and industrious (influential) country, and every other country wants to be at least associated with them…by any means necessary.
From military assistance to manufacturing warehouses, china has something for EVERYBODY.
Therefore, when a country that powerful makes a seemingly simple request, any country in question will do whatever it takes to stay on good terms with the great China.
So what does that have to do with Ghana and the Dumsor crisis?
You see, Ghana was in a bit of a pickle back then (…and it still is):
It needed a lot of help from our Asian Giant but alas, it had absolutely nothing to reciprocate with. Absolutely nothing.
Well, not until China finally came forward with their demand(s): a dumping site (more on that later).
The thing is, China is a manufacturing powerhouse and they have goods in EVERY part of the globe.
They make great (…and not-so-great) products and sell them all over, but recent trends show that people, especially westerners, aren’t clamoring for their products as much as they used to…basically because they want well-known brands that won’t break up upon first contact.
It’s that simple.
So what does China do with its never-ending supply of cheap (and inferior) products?
OH! They daintily waltz over to an aid-desperate country, promise to offer ‘em aid and then, “BOOM!!”, dump all their “unwanted” products in that country.
It’s not as if they have unused warehouses in China…so don’t blame them for taking initiative.
The goods have to end up somewhere and truth be told, Africa is the preferred dumpsite.
Honestly, the relationship between Ghana, China and Dumsor is quite interesting:
Ghana needs foreign aid to properly function;
China can give said aid but desperately need a place to dump its less-than-stellar products;
And Dumsor? Well Duh! Because Ghanaians love it.
Thus, this was the deal:
China stepped forward and offered Ghana all the aid it wanted and in return, Ghana would prolong the Dumsor and afford China the opportunity to use Ghana as an open warehouse.
Why make such a deal with Ghana?
Because they discovered a distinct correlation between Dumsor and the buying behavior of the average Ghanaian;
throughout the previous Dumsor saga, research discovered that Ghanaians bought more gadgets to tide them over as they endured the blackouts…and those gadgets were decidedly more inferior Chinese gadgets than anything else.
So putting two and one together, the Chinese were like,
“OK, you know what? You want aid and we want a place to unload our electronic goods (*wink*).
We have a proposition for you;
prolong your Dumsor, receive our gadgets…and then get all the ‘aids’ you want.”
Who is Ghana to say “NO”?
It was a no-brainer really.
If you think about it now, I am pretty sure you have at least noticed the abnormally high rate at which Chinese gadgets have invaded Ghana since this season of Dumsor premiered.
From powerbank phones (X-TIGI anyone?) to the weird USB-Radio-Bluetooth-MemoryCard Reader-Speaker anomalies.
I tell you this, in the past two years alone, more Chinese gadgets/devices have been sold that far exceed the Ghana population.
At least we can enjoy steady power for a while…till the elections are over.
Just don’t throw away your gadgets just yet.
Pfft!! Who am I kidding? …they won’t last that long to begin with. Just start saving up.
So, there you have it!
The shocking story of the century…but please take it easy on Ghana OK?
She might be 58 years old but she’s still taking huge baby steps.
DISCLAIMER: This blog post is entirely fictitious, therefore any and all resemblance to a person or place is PURELY AND UTTERLY coincidental.
PS: If this fantastical post truly happened, what would your reaction be?
Sound off in the comments.