Starting Over…

Hi! It is a new year again (for a full month now) and after a very unremarkable 2016 – if you don’t count the elections – I’m somewhat suspicious of this year. I had big plans I’d have loved to see grow in 2016 but my feet moved way too slow (ask Ransford).

Like all attempted failures in a person’s life, we have to at least accept a smidgen of that blame; we blame life (and others) too often.
I am guilty of treading along that particular path – avoiding the blame for my life choices and shirking the responsibilities that come along with it.

I cannot say I had an easy childhood…but it wasn’t hard either.
The honest truth? My temperament and outlook on life has pretty much bestowed upon me a laissez-faire approach to how I live life. I have gotten by quite fine but it is time I got more hands-on with my life and the decisions that happen therein.

Trust me, this year would like nothing more than to copy and paste the ole boring tripe of 2016, but I do believe we owe it to ourselves to walk down a different path.

reset

Winding the clock down to zero.

So then, what have I planned for myself this year? The sad reality is, my plans for this year mirrors that of the infamous 2016…but this time around I want more money and a greater life-purpose.

I can’t say I have it all figured out, but at least I know I can’t stay in this rut any longer.

Pray with me and let’s make a great big difference this year.

 

PS: Good News; This year won’t be as boring…only because I’m expecting an Xbox 360 to replace my non-existent love-life.
*sigh*…This is going to be good.

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Love…Eating Away at Me.

Love tears away at my heart and it leaves it bloody and raw
It knocks at my door but there’s a shotgun waiting behind that rickety door.
Too often has it opened but never has it stayed shut.

Happiness never stays
Happiness doesn’t appreciate my presence
It doesn’t want to see my face anymore…and it shows;
from one bonfire to the next,
my bums know no peace.

Am I ‘destined’ not to find rest in the warmth of an embrace?

My heart bleeds nothing anymore.
What more to shed when the ground has drunk 7 times its fill of my happiness?
What more to give when there’s only one bullet left in this rusty shotgun?
For the intruder or for my heart?

A fated adventure burning on the ground
Our plans barely made…
but here it is smoldering into the untethered future.

There are no phoenixes here…only isles of flightless birds.

If Only.
If Only…then my heart would rest easy,
knowing time would peel the soot away.

Daydreaming never got me anywhere and neither has love;
Only heartache and a macabre sense of humor.

Love sucks after all.

Maybe love hates me
or
Maybe nothing lasts around me.

Bottom Line: Love truly does suck.

But here I sit feeling a Love I have never opened my heart to.
Love that is unconditional…
Unflinching…
Never failing!

Love from above…
Living within me…
Changing my life!

My God has led me into my hiatus.

I will come back…for HE has started working on my charred Heart.

Glory be to God!

AMEN!!